Me and Mary Jane A pot newbie's clumsy foray into the world of medical marijuana
  • These hard economic times

    October 12th, 2009Mary JaneBack Story

    Unfortunately my decision to pick up pot came at the same time as our economic downturn. Like everyone else in the US, I was at risk of losing my job. The last thing I needed was to lose my job and then never get re-hired because I failed a drug test. So I swept the idea under the rug.

    GiftBagA few months and a pseudo-secure job later, I found myself where I had become accustomed: at home, curled up in my bed, unable to leave the house. My good friend Kary texted me, asking if she could drop by for a second. When she arrived she had a small gift bag. Little did I know that it contained the answer to my pain…and that it would be banana flavored.

    She had obtained a small amount of fruity-flavored pot from an undisclosed location in hopes that it would make me feel better, at least for a little while. I was on board. If it could cure the vajones, it could cure me! What we didn’t know was how to do was get it into me. A call to a friend for advice lead us on a scavenger hunt around the house for some sort of smoking paraphernalia–after which, all I knew was that I didn’t have papers, a pipe, a can, or any type of fruit. Crap, my new pot smoking lifestyle had stopped before it started. Then we thought of pot brownines. I certainly didn’t have brownie mix (come on, I didn’t even have paper), but we figured that all we needed for it to work was something edible and some sort of heat activation. What I did have was Easy-Mac. What screams pot louder than macaroni and cheese?EasyMac

    So we diced the pot on the cutting board. I don’t know why, maybe to activate it? I then added it to the microwavable meal, nuked it, and ate it. After that we waited. And when I say waited, I mean gossiped. I mean, even with severe nausea and a pounding headache you can always find time to talk about Brangelina and their 34 kids. But after 30 minutes, something happened that brought this squawk fest to a halt. My stomach wasn’t hurting. My head was still the same, but I felt no nausea. Usually it takes about 4 days to feel better, but I had gotten better in 30 minutes. After that, Kary left and I curled up to watch CNN (ok, Gossip Girl). After another hour, my head stopped hurting. I was back to normal! And then I passed out.

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