Me and Mary Jane A pot newbie's clumsy foray into the world of medical marijuana
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    July 10th, 2012Mary JaneMedical Marijuana Consumption

    And so my drug life began. And let me tell you, I was quite the partyer. Here’s an approximate recap of the first week of my getting high:

    Day 1:  Headache. Stomach ache. Sit on couch. Consume marijuana-laced chocolate chips. Feel a little better. Swim through molasses. Fall asleep.

    Day 3:  Headache. Stomach ache. Sit on couch. Switch to mint chips to shake things up a bit. Feel a little better. Swim through molasses. Fall asleep.

    Day 5:  Just a stomach ache today. Sit on couch. Consume cannabis chocolate chips. Feel a little better. Swim through molasses. Fall asleep.

    Day 7:  Headache. Stomach ache. Sit on couch. Mix it up with a combo of chocolate and mint chips. Feel a little better. Swim through molasses. Fall asleep.

    Somehow I didn’t think this was the way it went for other drug users. Or maybe it was? But regardless, although it was nice to have a short window of sickness relief, falling asleep after each medicinal treatment wasn’t ideal. I was a little more comfortable, sure, but I wasn’t conscious for it.

    Another thing stoners and SpongeBob have in common – love of Bubblegum

    But what if it didn’t have to be this way? Does all pot make you (well, me) fall asleep, or is it just the edible kind? And remember that long list of incomprehensible descriptions and various jars of marijuana buds at the dispensary? Maybe there are different strains of pot, and maybe one of them doesn’t cause narcolepsy. To the internet!

    The first thing I learned that there are about a bazillion types of marijuana, most with funny names like White Widow (uh oh, what happened to White Husband?) and Bubblegum (Captain Obvious says it tastes like bubble gum! Hmm, I wonder how that would go with my mint chips?). There’s all kinds of information about where these plants grow, what they look like, and what they taste like. But I still didn’t know how to stop being a Sleepytime Bear after consuming.

    Ah, finally I found the (non-scientific, undocumented) answer! There are two main types of marijuana: Sativa and Indica. Sativa is an upper that keeps you awake, and Indica is a downer that makes you tired. (At least according to Coed Magazine’s “Weedly Column.” Eh, good enough for me). As I’m assuming my chips are chock full of Indica-make-me-pass-out-ganja, I needed to get my hands on some Sativa, stat!

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