Me and Mary Jane A pot newbie's clumsy foray into the world of medical marijuana
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    July 18th, 2012Mary JaneMedical Marijuana Dispensary

    So now I had learned that I needed to get some Sativa-style pot to keep me awake during my drug consumption sessions. But where to get it? You can imagine that I was a little wary to go back to the Rabbit Hole. Maybe this time I wouldn’t make it back out! I was hoping that there might be a store that was a little more my style. I’m thinking lab coats, sterile equipment, at least one staff member without dreadlocks (I swear, I have nothing against dreadlocks! It’s just…this is my health we’re talking about, people!).

    So where does one go when one needs to find a new drug dispensary? Let’s see. I need a map. To find weed. I google it, and, voila!! What a find. It’s like MapQuest except that it takes you to toke stores rather than Target. I (heart) the internet.

    But I don’t (heart) employee web tracking devices at work (Big Brother!). I wonder what will happen when Weed Maps shows up on the radar of my IT department? Any chance I can convince them I was looking for lawn care products? I decided to go do a little schmoozing with the network manager guy, just to be safe. A little oohing and ahhing over little Johnny’s latest school picture goes a long way.

    Anyway, it turns out that there is a marijuana dispensary right in my town. Sweet! I could do a drive-by to determine if it is more drug pharmacy or drug dungeon. So on my way home, I drove down the main street in my town. I live in a mostly 20-something beach-side party town, so I was trying to find a pot shop amidst bars, tattoo parlors, and bikini stores. Still, based on my earlier experience, I thought it would stand out in its Down-Low-ness, even in this company. I squinted between shops to catch a glimpse of a creepy door or hidden alley, or maybe an unmarked window with smoke wafting from it. After making two U-turns, I finally realized that the lovely, clean, crisp shop on the corner called Green Health was it! It looked more like a Rodeo Drive boutique than a weed shop.

    My confusion only deepened when I entered the store. I saw pretty displays of hemp clothing and organic skincare products. There was a well-dressed employee behind the counter. Where were the hippie staffers? Where was the snake? And more importantly, where was the weed??

    My feeling of awkwardness almost matched the day I went to the Rabbit Hole, but for a whole different reason. At least at the Hole, they knew what I wanted and I knew that they knew what I wanted (wink wink). What do I do at this boutique? Just go up to the counter and ask, “Uh, hey, where’s the good stuff?”

    I tentatively approached the counter and the woman asked if she could help me. After some hemming and hawing, I said, “Well, um, I have a medical marijuana card, and…”  She immediately smiled and let me know I was in the right place (whew!). She pointed to the very back of the store where there was a small windowed counter built into the wall. She told me to walk back there and ring the bell. Another doorbell? Well, at least this one wasn’t in an alley. I took a deep breath and wondered if I was ready for such high-style cannabis acquisition.