Me and Mary Jane A pot newbie's clumsy foray into the world of medical marijuana
  • I’m being swallowed by a boa constrictor

    December 3rd, 2009Mary JaneMedical Marijuana Dispensary

    When I pictured what a dispensary looked like, I thought that it would be kind of like a store.  There would be different flavors with maybe price tags and I would pick what I wanted.  Maybe there would be a sale.  Then they would ring me up, thank me for my pDetectiveOfficeatronage, and I would be on my way. 

    Instead, I found myself in what seemed to be a 1970’s detective office.  I had somehow made the jump from Alice in Wonderland to Columbo.  Man, what was life going to be like when I actually did start smoking pot?Perhaps this would all start making sense?  Doubtful. 

    Dreaded Alice asked for my pot packet so she could verify my identity (like I could have ever found this place on my own).  I handed her my packet across the table.  I casually looked down and realized that it wasn’t a table at all, but rather an aquarium with A GIANT BoaConstrictorSNAKE!!!  WTF? HOLY SHIT!  WHO LET THE SNAKE IN HERE?  Ok, breath…play it cool.  We don’t want Dreaded Alice to think we are uncool.  We’re casual, but not too casual remember.  So I tried to smile like it was no big deal.   Sure it’s a snake, this happens all the time. 

    I’m pretty sure my smile came across more as constipated than breezy.

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