Me and Mary Jane A pot newbie's clumsy foray into the world of medical marijuana
  • Give mommy her medicine

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    October 8th, 2009Mary JaneBack Story

    So, 8 doctors, 6 months, and 1 fake out brain tumor later I’m still in my bed with the lights out trying to figure out how to make it through the next minute.  Now, I’m not sure if it’s because I live in southern California, but for every blanked-face doctor I had at least 3 friends, co-workers, or strangers encourage me to smoke pot to stop the pain.

    I had never smoked pot and had planned to live the rest of my days without partaking in the wacky tabacky.  I’ll go into more details as I get to know you better (I don’t know what kind of girl you think I am), but the point is I paid no attention to pot-head gallery and their smokey suggestions.  That was until I heard one startling testimonial.

    My cousin-in-law smokes pot for his severe “migranes.”  I put “migranes” in quotes because we all know that medicinal marijuana is a cover for pot-heads to smoke legally. (Just kidding, Ron! I’m one of you now!).  But this testimonial is not his.  It’s his wife’s, my cousin Tina.  Tina falls more into the supermom category than the daily pot smoker category.  I’m sure she tried it in college, probably didn’t inhale, but now she spends her days fixing dinners and wrangling kids.

    boilingspaghettiIt was one of these dinners where she had a dramatic spaghetti incident.  The details are unclear but the result was a pot of boiling water poured all over her nether region:  that’s “fanny” for the Brits, “pee-pee” for the children, “vajayjay” for the Oprah fans, and “vagina” for those lost up to this point.  As you can imagine, Tina was in pain.  Severe pain.  P-A-I-N!!!  So her husband suggested she try some of his “migraine medicine.”  At her wit’s end, she did.  And it worked.  And as far as I know, her vajones still does too.  All thanks to this forbidden weed.

    So if supermom can do it, maybe I can give it a try.


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