Me and Mary Jane A pot newbie's clumsy foray into the world of medical marijuana
  • Dress rehearsal

    October 25th, 2009Mary JaneMedical Marijuana Clinic

    graypantsFinally the day came.  More preparation went into this day than into my college application, sorority rush, and first job interview combined.  First, I need to pick out an outfit.  It was important that I look professional, but not too professional.  I chose a nice navy shirt with a sensible pair of grey slacks.  Normally I would call them pants, but slacks seemed like the right terminology for this day.

    Next I had to take time off work.  I mean, it was a doctor appointment…but it was to get pot.  There was much emotional turmoil and soul searching over this, but I ultimately made it out the door.

    Then there was the drive over.  This was my rehearsal.  Actually, I had been rehearsing potential questions all week, but this was the final run through.  (Doctor: “How much pain are you in?” Me: “Knife sticking out of my pelvis.” Doctor: “Is the nausea really that bad?” Me: “Remember the time you ate sushi from that questionable street vendor?”) I wanted to make sure I didn’t downplay the severity of my situation, but I was also afraid of being too whiney.  I wanted to be vulnerable, but secure in my decision.  Really I just wanted him to help me and was terrified of screwing it up.

    So terrified that I showed up 35 minutes early.  This was early enough to see my new pot doc sitting outside on his cell phone.  He was a perfect mix of Merrill Stubing (Captain of The Love Boat) and Mr. Cunningham (the dad from Happy Days).  The ideal grandpa.  I do have to admit that it was a little weird seeing him on the phone out in the parking lot.  Kinda like seeing your teacher at the mall.  They aren’t supposed to be real people.

    Next I went inside and checked in with the receptionist.  She asked me if I was aware I was over a half hour early and that they weren’t open yet.  I laughed, acting as breezy as possible.  Something along the lines of being in the area and happy to wait.  She motioned over to the waiting area and I headed in that direction.  Casual, but not too casual.

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